Love Creates Impact

Over two months has gone by as the 10 of us made our new home in Masipuhmelele. Now, two days have almost passed and we've already moved out and have begun debrief. Time amazes me. In 10 days I will be arriving to Sioux Center, Iowa.

I can't sleep, and all I can think about is the time I've spent in Masi and the friendships/relationships that have been made, and the ache that resides in my heart from saying good-bye to friend after friend, child after child.  I could go on to list the things my team 'did', but I don't know that that is what the outreach phase is about. I believe what it comes down to is love.

One night last week Lucas, a brother who lives in Masi, comes over because He felt that Jesus was going to highlight something on His heart to share with us. As we begin talking about how Jesus is moving, two words come to his mind: Love and Passion. He asks, "Kortney, tell me what comes to mind right away when you see a homeless man."
I respond, "Well, Lucas I guess I want to just give him anything I have, give him my purse or anything that is near. But, something always stops me from doing that."
I think a bit longer, and as I begin to speak again Lucas has tears in his eyes. "I think Lucas that Jesus stops me from just 'giving' materials away. Because what really matters is that man knowing Jesus and feeling His love rather than what I have to give him."
He begins to nod and says, "Yes, I think so too." He went on to say that he was moved by the passion we carried and the love that flowed from us. There was something that really made him ask what was different about our team, and as he told me what he had observed and how we loved really created impact in Masi, I wanted to burst. I wanted to burst into song, into tears, into laughter of relief. I had been fighting lies in my mind that I hadn't 'done' enough. Jesus was speaking to me so clearly through a brother and even my sister sitting next to me. As us three gathered together, the Holy Spirit connected and united us to say what He had to say.

1 Corinthians 13:3 "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

This scripture Jesus put on my sister's heart as we continued to talk. Often times we have a mentality that is, 'do do do, give give give' (like I would always like to do to the homeless man on the street). But what about love? Paul talks about it in Corinthians, Jesus talks about it everywhere and even commands us to love him with all that we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. This is what I believe His will is for us: to LOVE, to be His hands and feet (1 Cor 12). It's not about selling all our belongings or giving our possessions away to those who are begging or asking for it, I believe it really comes down to     them feeling loved and that love creating a desperate need of, "I NEED Jesus." He is the one to satisfy, and yes as we partner with Jesus, He uses us to be part of it!

I look back at the time we spent in Masi, and I can say we loved. We loved well. And when you love from a place of knowing Jesus' love, it's that much more powerful. Loving others moves them to love, to want and to know His love in ways they've never expected. It's beautiful, encouraging, and empowers me to keep loving knowing that everything is rooted in love.

New View

Friends and family,

As of yesterday my team and I are walking into our 4th week here in the township named, Masi. Anywhere from 40,000 to 60,000 Africans surrounding us, we have been walking the streets and have started to meet many, as well as building relationships with a handful of women, men and children.

Many are longing to know the hope we have in Christ Jesus. Many 'know' Jesus or have heard of Him, but they don't have a relationship with Him or see Jesus as, friend. Our team has learned that when we preach the Gospel it isn't just about asking, "Do you know about Jesus? Let me tell you about Him." But it really comes down to, "tell me what you know about Jesus," and praying that would lead into sharing our story and sharing the Gospel we know but also praying that it would increase vulnerability to hear their story and lead into a relationship. Also, sometimes I think it starts with persistence in the place of friendship and simply visiting with them. This is something I have really been struggling with but also trying to walk out.

It has looked a little different for me as Jesus really put teenage girls on my heart back in Sioux Center, IA before I left to YWAM. As I have had a longing to speak identity into teenage girls, I have really been seeing Jesus fulfill that here in Masi. Other girls on the team have also had teenage girls on their hearts, so we have been pursuing girls in the place of friendship and reading the Bible together. It's exciting, at times it is intimidating, challenging in the area of 'how do I make reading the Bible fun for their age!?' I absolutely love it because I am learning day after day.

Something else I have been challenged with is, community. I believe I was living in community in Sioux Center, and Kona, but in South Africa Jesus is really showing my how to realistically live in community. To me it looked like what you can go to or find where you are at but I'm finding that it starts with how you live and how you serve the people you live with. As I live in a house with 10 others, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room, and 1 dining area, I am beginning to learn how to give up control, self focus, and selfishness. I am learning that it is actually true what my mom has taught me my whole life. She has always said it in many ways probably to try to make me understand but it comes down to this:
         "How you are at home, is how you really are."
It's so true. But how I have been living the last 19 years of my life in the home has not looked like Jesus. And it is okay because as I ask to be transformed more and more into His likeness, He is really teaching me how to do it in the home and many are holding me accountable. I think many of you would agree that it is easier to be nice to those outside the home simply because you don't live with them. What would it look like if we started to look to Him to transform us and shift the atmosphere and culture of community?

Jesus is changing my view on many things in my own life and is really widening my perspective. I find great delight in taking a few steps up to look from His perspective before I go forward. It begins to change how I think.

Love to you from South Africa.

Faith Journey

I sit in our classroom this morning as I look out to the ocean, sitting in awe of our Maker. Creator of the ocean, of the stars, the galaxies, everything that has breath. He chooses us. He chose to love us from the beginning, He knows our name and our every thought. And at the end of the day it always comes down to His sons and daughters choosing HIM. I am known by the Father. All I want is to give back what has been given to me: my life. As I have given Him my life, I ask Him to increase my faith knowing that whatever is next that I would just say, "Here I am."

What would my life and your life look like if we were lead by faith? If I always knew what was ahead of me, would I actually go? I think that is the whole idea, being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Word started to get around last week as classmates were saying, "we don't have class today, it's a surprise." "I think it involves lots of walking..an adventure.." My mind started to wonder and a mix of feelings started to arise because I wasn't sure what was about to happen. Dan Baumann started class off by sharing a couple stories of how and where the Lord has lead him. When he felt the Lord saying a location, he questioned Him a few times, but then just went believing that he was suppose to go. It was so evident that not only through the stories and experience he shared but how he lives life on campus that he lives by faith.

As we were inspired by Dan, we are told that, "today, your teams are going on a faith journey! The earliest you can be back is 8:00 p.m. and the latest is 7:00 a.m." One cell phone was allowed per group for emergencies and no one has cars so it was up to us how to get around to where we felt lead. Our leaders prayed over us and sent us out.

Our group began the day praying into where we were suppose to go. The Holy Spirit gave team South Africa a few words/places: Music, green, dog, wheat field, letter M red truck, YPO (location on the island) and we were feeling the Lord really wanted to do something in our team that day. We began to walk and our plan was to just go wherever we felt lead. As we began to walk, frustration was forming because we weren't exactly all on the same page. We headed north because we noticed a red pickup turning north. Eventually we began to hitchhike and within 2 hours we were able to be picked up by 3 different vehicles and we arrived to Waimea, northern location of the island that is very green. Our team decided we needed to stop trying to check off the list the Lord had given us and just rest. (Psalm 23) Soon we began to share what was going on in our hearts and were super vulnerable to each other. Our team was drawn together in unity and we were filled with joy. Those around us had to think we were nuts! We began to walk to Mc Donalds because of the letter 'M' someone received and enjoyed each others presence in Mc Donalds. As we started to head out of Waimea we heard music. The eight of us ran across the street to see where the music was coming from and it happened to be a Zumba class! A woman asked if we wanted to join and we gave the remaining money we had to them. As we begin to dance, it was so freeing. I felt alive and didn't want to stop dancing. In the middle of one of the dances, we all recognize at the same time that, "THIS IS THE MUSIC!!" It was the music part the Lord was going to allow us to encounter! We blessed the women as we left by having conversation and praying for them. The sun was down and the winds began to blow and rain started to fall. Our team was cold and unsure of what was next but joy overcame everything! Our team walked into a gas station, meeting a loving man named Sirius. He couldn't give us a ride back to the YWAM base but we enjoyed getting to know him. He left, and as we are trying to hitch a ride back to the base for about 30 minutes, we see the same white pickup Sirius was driving. He pulls up next to us and says, "Hop in, I'll take you guys back to the base." Bless this mans heart. He took us an hour and a half back to the base and we had the greatest conversations!

As I type this, my heart begins to beat quite quickly. This day we called, "A Faith Journey," moved my heart and my team to live by faith daily. Hoping you are encouraged by this experience as many of you are starting up school again and some of you are questioning, "what is next?" He loves leading His children. In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Drink It.

The Word is Life. Jesus is the word.

If the Word is life then why am I not drinking it? 

As Christian Gonzalez came to spend a week with us, the Father gave me revelation through what He spoke to Christian: 

     Filling up a cup of water. As the water is in the cup you observe it, protect it, and you try not to let it   spill. Someone comes over and knocks it out of your hand, you now have no water left in the cup. The only way   to keep the water is to drink it. If it remains in the cup, what purpose does it have? It's the same way with the word. The word is life, but it needs to be a part of you. It needs to be in you.

Such a simple picture from the Lord and it allowed me to realize the importance of the word. We get the privilege of having the word in our hands and the ability to have free reign in reading it whenever. The Bible isn't just a book, it's life. Without it everything would be meaningless. The Book gives us access to the Father, it gives us life, it guides us and teaches us everything we need to know. 

I'm in awe of how it's connected from beginning to end and wondering why I've never had the desire to really dig into the scripture. It has always seemed boring and only a few books seemed interesting to read. I also thought it wasn't for me to understand but I was so wrong about that. Jesus has given us an Author to be with us the entire time we read the word. All we have to do is ask. John 14 says Holy Spirit is our teacher and I am a witness letting you know that Holy Spirit is a pretty awesome teacher! Something we learned this week from one of the staff was how to really engage in what we are reading:

1. Pray. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and teach you. Ask Him to reveal the things you don't see or understand. Ask for wisdom and revelation (Ephesians 1:17). 
2. Observe. What does the text say? When we look at it all together we get the whole picture of God.
3. Interpretation. Seeing what it is communicating to us. The bible was not written to us but it is for us. Take yourself back in time (culture, place.) 
4. Application. What does it mean to you? We can learn, learn, learn but if it doesn't change us, then what is the point? This is the number one goal!

Who and what are you living for? If you have a desire to really know the Father, the only way to do that is to drink the water. As we start to drink the water He will turn it into a flowing river..rushing waters. Start memorizing (this is something I've been challenging myself with). Memorization is a 'container'. He wants His word to live in His sons and daughters! 

Something I was struck with this week was 1 John 1: 6 "Whoever claims to live in him, must walk as Jesus did." I read this over and over again. I do claim that I am a daughter of the Father who lives within me and I in Him. Therefore I must walk as He did. Jesus is the perfect example and my desire is to follow Him with all that I am. The more I am in the word, the more I get to know my Father. This honestly blows my mind. 

Dear sons and daughters, continue in Him, so that when He appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming. 1 John 2:28. 

Captured

Why captured?

I sat up for hours one night as I tried to decide on a title for this blog. Yes, hours..nothing fit. I then began to type c a p t u r e d. It just seemed to work and I started to wonder why, captured?

I'm captured by the Fathers love, and I am free. I picture the Father standing on a hill, a hill that is higher than all others. As He stands upon this holy hill I give Him full reign.(Psalm 2) Full reign over my being, my life. He then throws a net down and I'm captured. I'm captured, but in this net I'm in complete joy because the King just captured me and there is so much freedom. The net is placed into the waters and I'm now at the point where I say, 'Jesus take the net deeper, take me deeper into your love, take me deeper into the Truth.'

This is what has been burning on my heart this week, is going deeper. Learning that in order to go deeper, it requires time. And why would I not want to give Him my time? A speaker, Mike Brown, described life as four quarters this  week. Let's say these quarters each represent 20 years, so I would have one quarter gone already. Knowing that the Lord could call me home any day or Him choosing to give me one two or three of the quarters I have left, how am I going to spend my time? Sure, it might be 'easy' to give the Lord time at YWAM during a Discipleship Training School because the focus is Jesus, but it's still a choice here. The weekends are free and it comes down to: 'Am I going to prioritize His presence?' As I prioritize His presence, I'm going to be taken deeper into the water, into the Truth of who He is.

In order to get to know the Father and His love for us we need to choose: YES or NO. Love is a choice. The Father isn't disappointed with where we are at with knowing Him or the Bible knowledge we have. Instead, He smiles and continues to love us. He invites us to go deeper with Him daily, His Holy Spirit we can invite in to teach us all things as He promises in John 14:26, 'But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you....Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.' He who lives within you will teach you all things.


Remember: He is not disappointed with where you are at and that He is Truth. When we prioritize the Father and His presence, it's the best decision we could make. It changes things.

Be led by hunger. Get after Him.

Arrival

As I arrived into Kona yesterday, I look at my surroundings and see black rock. I suppose hearing that maybe doesn't sound beautiful but as others start to speak of the history of this island, it becomes beautiful. To know that for years volcanoes have been erupting continuously is crazy! And to now see the remains of it is quite awesome. 

The plane ride from Phoenix to Kona seemed to be so short. Being in a plane for hours sounds not enjoyable but the Father placed a crazy old lady to the left of me who I became friends with instantly. We talked of why we were both going to Kona and as I started to speak of what I was going to be doing, she kept asking more and more questions. Then her friend came by and wanted to hear more as well and soon we had 20 minutes until we would arrive on The Big Island. I praise God for how He works in each moment, how He uses others, how He uses me. What a great Father. 

This morning made me so filled with joy with the protocol and then the worship that followed. I could feel His presence as we invited Him to fill the place. Then our group 'Awaken,' entered the prayer room a little later as a man spoke to us as to why we are here and welcomed us into another time of worship and prayer. It was intimate. And I am so stinking stoked for what is ahead. Relationships are already being built and its been 24 hours!!! What!? 

I wanted to give a quick up to date as I just sense/see so many of you excited for me. I need to jazz up my blog a bit with information and what not but here is the address many of you have asked for!

Kortney Kruger (Awaken DTS)

75-5851 Kuakini Highway #430

Kailua-Kona, Hawaii

96740-2199 USA

Eyes of Faith

I look ahead, knowing I have 5 more days left in a town that I thought I'd never step foot in again (well at least 'live' in). And now I find myself having my heart pulled in so many directions because I see what the Father is doing in Sioux Center and at times I find myself saying, "I'm suppose to leave now??" 

Eyes of faith give me a peace in my inmost being. I see the season He has called me into and it is a season away from home, a season that I'm so excited to take on. These next months ahead of me are going to be wondrous, unbelievable, and filled with growth. Maybe those words don't even touch what I'm about to embark on...

A picture that was shared by a staff member from AWAKEN DTS that won't leave my mind from weeks ago. I just have a feeling that this is what is going to happen to my soul.